I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Randomize
