i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
he just fucked me for my cheese.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
