we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
