so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
don't judge my taste in strippers
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
