Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
