Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
