im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Randomize
