with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
kristin has been a bad kristin
thus making me awesome and them whores
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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