our cab driver is having phone sex.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize
