I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
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