i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Less talking, more tequila
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
And then my night got REAL pukey
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
