Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
