Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
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