He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
