just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
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