They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
If I die, sorry about rent.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
