it was like his penis was on wheels.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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