Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
is it fun? or sober?
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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