Whod you bang
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
