marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize