For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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