OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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