ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
