Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
