Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
