New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Why did my mother make you get naked?
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