Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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