I'm lost and stupid without you.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
