Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
