I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
