Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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