shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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