I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
