My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Randomize