so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
