fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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