Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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