So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
