wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize
