I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
she told me i tasted like america
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I wear drunk well.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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