Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize