Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
