I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
either way he was missing a nipple.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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