Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
