At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize