New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
