i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
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