That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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