i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Randomize
