ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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