i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
