no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
