Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
